lift your hands! lift your voice!

Listening to Jesus Culture’s latest album…  And the worship leader is crying out “God we want to know you in a deeper way.  Lift your hands.  Lift your voice”…  And there’s really nothing wrong with those words.  It’s expected song-transition, worship leader cheerleading.  I’ve done it.  It’s part of the gig.  But it got me thinking… 

Are we teaching people that the way to know God deeper is to get in a corporate setting, lift your hands, and raise your voice?  Is that biblical? 

It seems to me that the road to knowing God in a deeper way is quiet, personal communion with Him, and obedience to what he’s already revealed.  At least that’s where I’m at right now.  My response to my hunger for God is not to find a loud room with lots of people that I can scream praises to with…  and I don’t want to teach people that. 

Though I love loud rooms with people to screaming praises to God together.  But those meetings aren’t as much about intimacy and discovering God as CORPORATELY PROCLAIMING praise to God.  Saying to God and the community around you that we are united in our faith, our confession, and making it a point to get together and affirm that.  It’s also a time of mutual encouragement.  A time to hear God’s word preached.  To be encouraged in your race of faith.  To be uplifted.  To feel the love of God through community with his people. 

So in a way, we do know God in a deeper way.  Maybe a different way.  There are benefits to corporate assembly that are unique to it…  I guess the issue I have is the idea that the apex, the highest form of God-seeking is corporate gathering.  Because the corporate gathering is only as good as the individual-divine relationships that make up the gathering.  If we never seek God outside of our corporate gathering, then what good are our corporate gatherings doing?  If we have nothing to offer one another, then why get together?  And if the Pastor is the only one with a relationship with God, we can receive what he offers us, but that should produce individual growth in us… if we really receive it.  And if that teaching isn’t producing that, we’re either not listening right, he’s not teaching right, or both.  If church is only a commercial for church, then it’s not what church is supposed to be.  Because the assembly itself is not just about the act of assembly. 

The assembly is a structure that should be a weekly accountability, coaching session, faith-builder, that provokes us to love and good deeds.  If love and good deeds don’t mark your church, what the heck are you getting together over?  Do you really think raising your hands and your voice really takes you to some mystical, ‘deeper’ place OUTSIDE of a daily, living, breathing relationship with God? 

Even more scary to me as a worship leader…  Is the STRUCTURE (not words, message, mission statement, printed material)…  Is the WAY WE STRUCTURE a worship service, and the nuance of what we say…  the thoughts that are communicated along with the words that we carefully craft…  Are we…  AM I misleading people with a false corporate roadmap to God?  If so, is it time for restructuring?  Do I need to change my tone?  Do I need to say something else?  Should we do something else? 

Do people know the amazing secret of the prayer closet?  Of personal relationship with God?  DON’T SETTLE FOR CORPORATE RELATIONSHIP!  Don’t believe that if you haven’t found fulfillment once a week that Christianity doesn’t work!  Don’t believe that if you haven’t found God here, you never will!  This is just the weekly pit stop!  The race is happening every day!  If you’re driving backward on the track but making all the prescribed pit stops, you’re still going to lose the race.  You’re still losing ground.  Those pit stops will help.  Good rest.  And slow down your horrible losing streak.  But never achieve the goal you’re expecting them to fulfill.  Just because your tires are wearing down, and the miles are going up, doesn’t mean you’re going in the right direction.  Turn around.  Repent.

So my friends, (and my soul)…  If you want to know God in a deeper way, go ahead…  lift your hands, raise your voice…  But don’t stop there.  Please.  You’ll never find the joy and satisfaction of a personal walk with Jesus, and may just be deceiving yourself into a counterfeit faith that has no positive future for you.

fantastical night one

I am sitting in a hotel room in Waco, Texas tonight for a "Fantastical Church Music Conference" put on by the David Crowder Band.  Night one did not disappoint.  Some interesting, very enjoyable music.  Welcome Wagon, which I can only define as The Swell Season with Norah Jones on the piano (but the piano player is actually a larger white middle aged dude, so it's a sonic reference)...  Then Gungor played later, and were very impressive with their instrumentation, arrangements, skill level...  A LOT of talent, coupled with heart and creativity.  I'm a fan. 


But the highlight of the night wasn't musical.  It was Francis Chan.  He's a passionate, young(er), very authentic in front of people guy.  And almost every word he said resonated deeply with me.  The scriptures he quoted and preached from are scriptures that have been rolling around my head/heart for the last week or two... maybe longer.  So it was amazing and very impacting to me to hear him share them to a room full of worship leaders.

The main one was out of the book of Amos, and we read in our twenty-ten reading last week, I believe.  Amos 5....


¹⁸ Woe to you who long
       for the day of the LORD!
       Why do you long for the day of the LORD ?
       That day will be darkness, not light.
 ¹⁹ It will be as though a man fled from a lion
       only to meet a bear,
       as though he entered his house
       and rested his hand on the wall
       only to have a snake bite him.
 ²⁰ Will not the day of the LORD be darkness, not light—
       pitch-dark, without a ray of brightness?
 ²¹ "I hate, I despise your religious feasts;
       I cannot stand your assemblies.
 ²² Even though you bring me burnt offerings and grain offerings,
       I will not accept them.
       Though you bring choice fellowship offerings, ^[b]
       I will have no regard for them.
 ²³ Away with the noise of your songs!
       I will not listen to the music of your harps.

Wouldn't that be a striking word to receive from the Lord?  But so important for all of us to remember.  God's perspective is not man's.  Just because your singing, doesn't mean He's listening...  


He also mentioned the verse in Matt 5:23/24 where Jesus tells us to let our sacrifices wait, until we reconcile with our brothers.  Another one on my heart this week, as a reminder I need to give as a worship leader (and remember as a worshipper).


And I'm not quick to endorse people who sit around and point out flaws in the church.  Scolding, negative tones...  Cynicism and pious accusations...  That's easy to do.  I always wait for the solution.  For the challenge.  And his was great.  Would your life fit in His Book (the Bible)?  Would it seem normal, in a truly biblical paradigm?  Apart from cultural differences...  Your level of commitment, your level of faith, the way you handle your relationship with Christ in your life...  Would it be able to be listed in Hebrews 11, or alongside Peter, Paul, Elisha, Elijah...  They were all human too.  Would your story even be worth recording?  Good thoughts...


Even made me write....  inspired, kind of flow of consciousness poetic scribbling.  Felt really good, and really uncomfortable and challenging at the same time.  If I get the guts, I might share some of the scribbles.  later.  For now they stay in the notebook...

drama and choir.

I just sent an email to two of RMCC's finest- our Dramatic Arts Director (Joe Kneller) and our Choir Director (Laura Lindstrom, also my mother-in-law.)  I thought I'd post it in a blog, just for the record.  :)  I cut out the intro small talk and a few unnecessary lines, to get to the point...


I realized that I have allowed myself to be labeled (or maybe even labeled myself) 'anti-drama', or 'anti-choir' (which is why I copied you Laura)... 

Well, for the record, I'm not.  I am against tradition for the sake of tradition, and ministry that is more self-serving than other-serving.  And from what I've observed, that seems an easy trap for choirs and dramatic ministries to fall into.  BUT... wait... that should be bigger...

but!

I LOVE artistic expression that glorifies God and effectively communicates to people.  I love EFFECTIVE drama and choir!  I DO!  And I think both of you do that with your work, in drama and choir.

Joe- I love your approach to drama ministry.  I love that you produce a quality product, but with a relatively laid back spirit (or so it seems from my perspective).  I love your heart to minister, and the fact that you keep that in front of the people you lead.  I LOVE that you do recognizable plays like LWW and the Christmas Carol with an intentional outreach focus.  Love it.  I DON'T believe that the MEDIUM is no longer effective to any generation... and I think you're proving that at RMCC.  (But I do think there are a lot of places still doing it wrong, too)  But I'm proud to be a part of something that is done well for God's glory.

Laura- ditto for you.  :)  The choir you lead serves it's audience faithfully and effectively ever week.  While a 'church choir' would have a lot to overcome in the minds and hearts of younger folks, I don't think that any artistic expression is beyond God's use...  And I wouldn't be eternally opposed to an UNtraditional choir, if it were UNtraditional enough.  But for me it honestly is much more about the results than the medium itself.   I look forward to enjoying this play and working together on another Christmas season with you.  You're a wonderful co-worker, mother-in-law, and choir director.  I mean that sincerely.

I love that we're all parts of the Body, and we need each other...  And I think God smiles when we get together and do something for Him.  It's very cool.  Thanks for listening...er... reading...

PS- And if you're wondering, we are getting together for the Holidays...  If you're an RMCC'ite, you don't want to miss being a part of it!  :)

Almost two years ago...

Evan was born. And the world changed. I changed. It wasn't a conscious decision, there wasn't a moment of hesitation or question (though those came before and after). It was like one moment I'm just a guy, cheering on the most important person I'd ever met... So proud of her strength and courage (and yes, physical ability to some how push another living human being into the world)... But then the next moment, I'm a dad... Without learning how, I'm instantly connected to this gooey screaming alien child... And I can't take my eyes off him. I want to tell him that he's okay, and that I'm watching out for him and taking care of him. Even though everything happening around him and to him is incredibly traumatic and terrifying, I'm there for him. And I look at Christine knowing we have something so special at that moment... A family. We're parents. (I'm also very aware and thankful for amazing drugs that allow us both to be smiling and talking at this point.)

So fast forward to tonight... I hold him down to put eye drops in his pink-eye stricken eye, pray beside his bed, and kiss him on the head, knowing he'll scream when I leave the room. I go in an hour later, take the big wire with the wooden beads toy thingy off his bed, pull his cup out from under his side, and cover him up. Think about his newfound affinity for altoids, his pronunciation of the word 'daddy', how I never planned on calling anyone 'buddy'... But since the day he was born it just seems to fit. And I still have the deepest, most profound love for him (and his beautiful prego mama)... And I realize that part of the gift that a child is, is the experience of fatherly love, perspective, nature... It really is a gift.

So I go to bed thinking 'Jesus, we really need to name 2.0 before he gets here...' and realizing I'm about to go from being amused and amazed by ultrasounds, heartbeats, and belly-fluttering, to completely enamored and eternally connected to another human being... (one we still don't have a name for). Life is so weird.

Sent from my Windows Mobile phone

why

That can be a scary question... Especially to ask God... Especially when you're reading through the Old Testament... I know it won't get any better as we go. And I've been thinking about rambling on in a blog about it...

But to avoid putting words in God's mouth, or thoughts in His head, or telling a backstory that isnt really there, I'll just say this... The question that helps me through the Law isnt so much 'why', but more 'what value system is God instilling by these patterns, rituals, rules and repetitions' in the lives of people living totally by faith (though it doesnt seem too impressive at times)... The middle of the desert, fed by something I picture as flat oily rice cakes, getting water from rocks, and following a glowing, stuttering, mountain-climbing shepherd.

I really am tempted to start writing all the maybes in my mind rolling around... And I would, if 'maybe God' wasnt so scary to type... In the end, I think God was teaching his people his value system... Holiness is valuable. Sin, even unintentional is costly. Atonement is a life or death issue. Our relationship with Him isnt something to be approached haphazardly... WHAT WE THINK HE WANTS, HE MOST LIKELY DOESNT... Because our values are not His. And that's really the overarching lesson for us, as NT believers... He put pricetags on things we dont have pricetags for now... He put His value system in some terms of THEIR value system. He ACCOMODATED tainted, unspiritual humanity, by giving them physical represntations of the mysterious unseen. Come to think of it, that really sounds like something He would do, huh?

And 'modern' self-enlightened Dave, like Judas, sees a very strange waste of material goods (and animals lives) that, in my mind is unnecessary for a lesson you could have just taught from a book... But it seems God is less of a test-driven and booksmarts kinda guy, and more of a hands on, you've learned it when you've felt it, experienced it kinda guy.

Anyway, more unstructured ramblings for the sake of rambling...

Sent from my Windows Mobile phone

Not enough memory...

Isnt that the most annoying error popup on a cruddy old computer...
trying to run programs that it wasnt designed to run? But I kinda
feel like that...
The other day, Ev was screaming and crying as we drove away from
'appanodals' (McDonalds) because he didnt get to play... And
Christine and I just died laughing. It was one of the small things
that just bring a smile or moment of happiness, but probably wont be
remembered in the long run. So my joy was a little squashed at the
thought of how many memories will be lost due to my 'not enough
memory'... Hopefully someone in heaven is video taping this stuff for
me...
In the meantime, I might just have to blog some silly little moments,
so they're not forever lost...
Sent from my Windows Mobile phone

Do you ever get in the shower

and think, man I'm a spoiled American...  Showering every day is a foreign idea to much of the world.  There are millions of people who would love to have water to drink like the gallon I just used to wash the shampoo out of my hair and down the drain.

Is it mind boggling to anyone that we haven't figured out a way to make sure kids aren't dying around the world of too little food and water?  Because it is to me.  They had free cookies sitting out at the bank the other day, and somewhere some kid is literally starving to death.

And I feel so small.  I do my part, or enough to make me feel like I am.  But sometimes I wonder if we should all sell our tv's and furniture and computers and help someone.  I know...  give a man a fish...  Whatever.  Most Americans don't know how to fish (figuratively speaking)...  We hire out all the fishing to other countries, and make our money at the expense of incredibly impoverished people... and pat ourselves on the back for giving them something...  And I don't exclude myself from these charges at all.  I'm part of the culture responsible.

And in my own mind, when I'm not so contemplative as today, I'm struggling to get by.  Because the numbers on my bank account webpage aren't always the color I'd like them to be.  But I'm listening to world class music, streamed to great speakers (most definitely made in China), with comfortable shoes, a warm sweater...  You get the picture.

And I'm really glad I've been so bothered by this the last couple days.  I hope it bothers me enough to make me think of something I can do to change it.

inspired.

i just read a blog by my buddy josh harp, our creative services guy at rmcc. and it made me think, how long has it been since i've blogged... so here i am.

in my late night introspective state, i realize that i am not wired with a very prominent need to communicate. which is weird. i think everyone has some innate need to connect with other people, to share their thoughts and experiences, but mine is just sub-par. i think alot. kind of internal talking to myself, but it doesn't get out very often. and by the time it does, i've gone so far around the circle in my head that i boil it down to something so simple, that when i share it, people just look at me like "duh." christine probably gets more than anyone else, but even then...

so, at risk of just writing some "duh" stuff... here's what's been going through my head, as best i can remember. i am excited about opportunities for our church to reach out during the holiday season, and yes even already looking ahead to easter. but at the same time realize that christmas music in large doses can easily drive a man insane. i also realize that i love to create. much of what i do as a worship leader is basically 'covering' other people's music. (of course there's a spiritual side... worship is not just a coverband show) but musically i don't create much, mostly because i don't see a real need to. there's such amazing worship music out there (see hillsong, united, david crowder band) that there's not a pressing NEED to write new music... but i also realize i thrive on even little creative projects. (much more than communication obviously)

i've also been thinking about the church and Church. what words like missional, evangelism, relevant, spirit-filled, and maturity look like in a community of believers... around the world and specifically at 740 n power rd in mesa, az. change is happening, and it needs to. but throughout history there are obvious changes that everyone takes notice of right away, but there also always seems to be something so obvious going on that the vast majority of people don't see, either a change occuring under the radar, or a change that needs to be made, that no one seems to notice... but i would always want to be the one who does. even if it makes me weird. to be like the prophets in the old testament... to see through fads, and not just go with the flow... but also inspire and promote healthy change and fresh vision to the Church. to see what God sees.

it really comes down to a couple things... i want to see people have fresh water, food to eat, healthcare for their kids... i want them to know that Jesus loves them, and show them in real ways. i want to serve with a right motive- love for and obedience to God. i want to love people as i love myself, but out of love and obedience for God. and to have an eternal perspective above everything else, to recognize that spiritual needs are always the greatest, and that meeting physical needs should point to that conversation. people need Jesus. they don't deserve Him. i don't deserve Him. but we all need Him. to recognize what seperates us, take hold of his sacrifice to remedy it, and start a lifelong pursuit to know Him as intimately and practically as possible.

and really, i stink at it. i think most of us do. we need the Spirit of God to stop us in our tracks, and change our hearts, so that our behavior will become more like Jesus. but often it doesn't seem that He does, until we give him a little time to get a word in edgewise. to be still and know who he is. think about who He is. to find certainty in our hearts that He alone is God. and when we discover the life-changing power in that, to make it a discipline, but a relational one. not develop religion around our formula, but to keep a perspective that puts utmost value and importance on knowing Him. and making Him known.

wow. maybe i do like communicating. or maybe i just enjoy typing and rambling late at night. either way. the time has come to go.

Salvation

the last couple days, "utmost" has been about salvation. stuff we all should and probably do know as Christians, but he states it so plainly it's almost startling. especially when you listen to as much lovey-dovey worship music as i do...

• Jesus died because of obedience, not sympathy or even compassion.
• Jesus didn't come "to reveal the Fatherhood of God, the loving-kind ness of God", he came to die for the sins of the world. The revelation comes after salvation.
• We are not saved by being sorry for our sins, by repentance, obedience, consecration or faith. We are saved by the sacrificial, substitutionary death of Jesus. By GRACE demonstrated at the cross. We only realize and accept what has already been done through believing (FAITH).

none of that is to say that God isn't merciful or kind. that Christ doesn't have compassion on us or that repentance, obedience, consecration and faith aren't necessary components in the life of the believer. but it is to say that our salvation CANNOT be at all dependent on us, if we believe in the word of God. our salvation is purchased and final before we even realize it. the gift is under the tree. the ball is in our court, but we didn't earn it. it was handed to us freely, without us even asking. i owe my life and eternal destiny to Jesus Christ, and his death on the cross, according to the Father's will. i'm so grateful that even though I'm saved through faith that the degree of my salvation isn't dependent upon the degree of even my faith... and let's not even talk about deeds...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shifting Sand- Caedmon's Call (it's old, but it applies...)

Sometimes I believe all the lies, So I can do the things I should despise

And every day I am swayed by whatever is on my mind

I hear it all depends on my faith, So I'm feeling precarious

The only problem I have with these mysteries Is they're so mysterious

And like a consumer I've been thinking if I could just get a bit more...

More than my 15 minutes of faith,Then I'd be secure

My faith is like shifting sand, Changed by every wave

My faith is like shifting sand So I stand on grace

I've begged you for some proof For my Thomas eyes to see

A slithering staff, a leperous hand And lions resting lazily

A glimpse of your back-side glory And this soaked altar going ablaze

But you know I've seen so much I explained it away

chorus

Waters rose as my doubts reigned... My sand-castle faith, it slipped away

Found myself standing on your grace...It'd been there all the time....

My faith is like shifting sand, Changed by every wave

My faith is like shifting sand, So I'll stand on grace...Stand on grace...

knowing before serving...

We actually slander and dishonor God by our very eagerness to serve Him without knowing Him. (Utmost, today)

the Church has seen this play out in it's leaders and members countless times... people who want to serve but don't serve with the right motives, with the right attitude... and most who have been active Christians will or have probably done this. we allow our service to surpass our relationship with Christ... the mary/martha comparison...

and it really goes back to the cain and abel story... ha ha, but then again everything has for me in the past week. it's the matter of offering God what he really wants of us, or offering God what WE think he'll enjoy... what we want to offer. and that's really giving the benefit of the doubt... worst case would be "serving" for our own selfish motives... which is easy to do when your area of service involves public attention...

what a terrible feeling though... what an uneasy, uncontented spirit when you realize that what you've just portrayed to others as a sacrifice was really nothing more than a show to spotlight yourself as a "sacrificER"... i thank God that He's allowed me to experience the emptiness of using the abilities he's given me selfishly... i learned early on that "he must become greater, i must become less"... to effectively do what He's called me to do, i have to empty me of me, as much as i possibly can, then allow Him to do the rest.

back to cain and abel though... the more i pondered that story all week again, the more it challenged me to back up my Sunday "sacrifices" with my weekday living. one opportunity i had this week to do that passed me by before i even realized it did... (read the previous post for that story)... but i think i had a few victories too...

it's something we have to make time to do... spend time with God... find out what HE really wants from us... stop trying to please Him (or anyone else for that matter) on our own... just be obedient.

"If you do what is right, will you not be accepted?"

i freakin love...

my utmost for his highest. it's so good, and challenging. i started copying and pasting quotes from the last few days to make note of in this blog, and really ended up copying whole days worth of material. it's just really good.

tonight, i especially feel challenged to become "broken bread and poured out wine". he talks about God allowing things to squeeze us to become wine for the consumption of others. today's devotional is on Mark's account of the transfiguration. they key line is

"We are not made for the mountains, for sunrises, or for the other beautiful attractions in life— those are simply intended to be moments of inspiration. We are made for the valley and the ordinary things of life, and that is where we have to prove our stamina and strength."

how true. i love the inspirational moments. and maybe i believe that the more time i spend there, the more i can stay on the mountaintop and see more clearly who God is, the better off i am. but if i am to be like Christ, mountaintops will be rare, and sacrifice will be much more the routine.

worship can take me to my mountain. and i love taking time to spend quietly playing before God, singing in my heart, singing out loud, whispering under my breath, or silently meditating in His presence. i love it. i need it. but i also have to consciously translate those moments to the everyday valley encounters with others. i have to allow that same grace to flow THROUGH me as it has TO me... i have to. that's the real test. the ability to find the mountaintop is not nearly as valuable to an authentic walk with Christ as the ability to hold onto that inspiration in the mundane.

If a man or woman is called of God, it doesn’t matter how difficult the circumstances may be. God orchestrates every force at work for His purpose in the end. If you will agree with God’s purpose, He will bring not only your conscious level but also all the deeper levels of your life, which you yourself cannot reach, into perfect harmony.

i believe that. to be sure you're doing what you're called to do, in spite of everything else around you, is ultimate fulfillment and peace. it's not easy, or without doubts and questions... it's not constant, because i'm not. but when i shut up and rest in the assurance i have that God has been given control of who i am and what i do, and that he will steward that well, there's no greater peace.

The mountaintop is not meant to teach us anything, it is meant to make us something.

so have i let my mountaintops accomplish what they need to in my CHARACTER (as opposed to my MIND)... God is not out to educate us, and the gospel isn't a matter of only right teaching. most of humanity's problems won't be cured by simple instruction, but by an encounter with the Holy Spirit... a little water on faith seedlings in the hearts of men, that begin to grow as they allow themselves to be good soil for that faith to grow in. i don't need more instruction, i need more application. and it's a decision i make. we all have to decide that we're in this for real, and it's time to DO what we KNOW. and APPLY as soon as we LEARN.

i'm tired, and i need to quit rambling, but i'm going to make an effort this week to draw some mountaintop inspiration for the daily walk a little more regularly. and start pouring out a little wine... :)

Cain's offering... (Gen 4)

Why didn’t God like Cain’s offering?

At first glance, it seems that both men gave to the Lord part of what they had worked to produce. Yet God prefers Abel’s offering to Cain’s. Why?

I’m not sure there is a definitive answer, but there are a few clues…

A Portion vs. The Best- The wording is interesting in that it states that Cain simply gave a part of his crop, while Abel brought the “firstlings”, and the fat of them… Which would be the best of the best. It doesn’t really definitively say that Cain DIDN’T bring the best, but it’s interesting that it was made clear on Abel’s offering…

The Blood- There is a difference in the types of sacrifice. The animal sacrifice includes the shedding of blood, a requirement for atonement, while the plant sacrifice doesn’t. That may have been the issue… And the way God asks the question after his ruling on the offerings, it sounds like Cain may have known WHY his sacrifice was unacceptable, even if we really don’t.

The Heart- This is where I think we can really learn something… There is almost definitely an attitude difference here, between the two brothers. Scripture says that God didn’t just accept one offering and decline the other, it says that he accepted “Abel and his offering”… The man, and the offering the man brought. Maybe that’s why Cain was so angry… It wasn’t just a disapproval of the offering, but a disapproval of the man who brought it.

Cain is instantly angry with God and his brother after he and his offering are rejected. Again, there’s nothing to say that Abel wasn’t rubbing it in his face either… But Hebrews 11:4 tells us that by faith he offered a better sacrifice than Cain. So faith was a factor as well. And the Blood and the Best could have been heart decisions. Perhaps he had instructions from God to offer a blood sacrifice for atonement, and by faith he did.

Ultimately we know that Cain ultimately kills his brother, which he plainly knew was wrong, and displays that rather than mastering the sin crouching at his door, which he was warned of directly by God, he allowed it to consume him. Rather than DEVOTE himself, allow himself to be consumed with the task of bringing God an offering that would be pleasing to him, he allowed sin to consume him.

To make application… We need to offer God our best. Not just a pittance… a part that we’re willing to do without. We need to realize that without the blood of Christ, we have no right to assume that we’re worthy of being heard, or accepted. And our hearts have to be motivated by faith and obedience in God’s word. We need to do it his way, in his time, for his glory. And allow ourselves to be fully devoted to honoring God and living a life acceptable to him.

Don’t make an offering for the sake of making an offering. Make obedience by faith your priority, and discover true worship.

2 Cor. 4

jars of clay... an incredible chapter on doing ministry. something i really believe is INCREDIBLY applicable today. we can stretch paul's "all things to all people to win some" (I Cor. 9:22) to justify alot of 'cunning' in ministry today. i am thankful to be a part of a church that i believe is at the good end of the curve when it comes to AVOIDING cunning tactics and trying so hard to be "relevant" that you become fake.

i believe that the only thing truly relevant to a commercial culture, used to hype and unfounded, undelivered promises with the ultimate goal of profit at our expense, is to be the antithesis of that culture. in short, to be real.

to some, the way our church worships, or the way our pastor preaches, the lighting in the room, the colors that we chose, the use of modern communication media like video screens or even sound systems may cross the line. i would disagree. the music i choose is music that expresses prayers that i believe our church wants to pray corporately. prayers of thanksgiving, celebration, desperation, faith (even in the midst of trial and confusion), hope in the promises of God's word, and love for a self-sacrificing Savior. it can be incredibly emotional, but i pray and believe that it's more a voice to deep emotions that we want to communicate, even though, for some (hopefully a small minority) it may stir up some false, manufactured emotional response... the important part is that as ministers (the worship team, tech crew, even pastors) are real in our expression, and our desire to lead others in a true expression of worship.

pastor jeff's preaching style is a very close replica of his conversational style. he is a man passionate about God's word, and people experiencing the freedom and transformation made available by it. it's real...

the sound system, lighting, and video screens have become staples in most evangelical american churches, but that doesn't make them acceptable. what makes them acceptable is the proper use of these mediums to communicate without 'canivery' (if that's a word) the good news in a way that is clear and understandable. in a way that brings people to a point of INFORMED DECISION in their spiritual identity and eternal destiny. to use them to stir up emotions, to lure them to make an UNINFORMED, RUSHED decision is another story. something i think we purposefully steer very clear of...

on a personal level, i've added verse 2 to my memorization list, because it's something i strive to be. there is great freedom in living a transparent life. cunning, twisting truth, deception all lead to a stressful high-maintenance situation... it's good to be who you are to whoever you're with at whatever time... there is freedom in living a life that strives to please God, is quick to admit shortcomings, quick to accept rebuke, quick to self-examine and seek improvement, with complete confidence in who you are in Christ. to strive ONLY to live up to the expectations of a loving father, and leave other pretense and expectations behind. to try to do twist or 'cun' rather than just rely on God SWAPS the responsibility of the outcome from HIM to YOU... which is a very scary thing. YOU also end up carrying the brunt of the responsibility for the longevity of that commitment, which is even scarier.

i feel like i'm rambling now, and there's good reason... it's 12:30am, and i should be sleeping. i'm not sure if i'm even writing about the same topic i started with...

i just pray that my life matters to the Kingdom. that i make as big a dent as i possibly can, and fulfill what God has called me to do. just obey...

church in the morning... i need to go to sleep. a little gassy. don't want to pollute the bedroom, so i'm blogging in the office to spare my wife. "who will deliver me from this body of death?!"

it's been a better day than i expected, thanks to God's grace. tomorrow will be an incredible morning, stories of God's faithfulness through miracles and tragedy. songs of faith accompanied by public confessions of faith in water baptism. the beautiful collision- His divinity meeting our depravity in a grace explosion (and mercy fallout). and i make fun of those old time preachers quoting hymns like scripture... ha ha....

interesting thought from utmost today (or maybe tomorrow?)... the uselessness of logic and "thinking through" spiritual matters.

Bring all your "arguments and . . . every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ" regarding the matter, and everything will become as clear as daylight to you ( 2 Corinthians 10:5 ). Your reasoning capacity will come later, but reasoning is not how we see. We see like children, and when we try to be wise we see nothing (see Matthew 11:25 ).

thinking or trying has never helped me overcome or grow spiritually... obedience has. even reading God's word... it's not the intellectually stimulating passages that transform me, it's the times i read and know God is speaking. i would say that it's a great point to think about... but maybe it's just a better thing to acknowledge and practice. obedience. better than sacrifice... we know... but for God, or for us? i always assumed the former, but maybe the latter is more the case. when we make the decision to follow Christ, we aslo are accepting our obligation to believe without evidence and obey blindly... and why not? if we've truly found something we're willing to give our entire lives away for, and make a commitment to adhere to in our day to day living, wouldn't that include even in situation where it doesn't make sense to follow?

so to bring personal application, i need to be more disciplined. in managing my time, taking care of my body, eating properly, and purposefully chasing after God's will for my life. living for Him is all or nothing, but it's human nature to find the path of least resistance... even in our walk with him. to find a path of optimum comfort, while still within the bounds of our perception of the "straight and narrow". so far, no one's reading this, probably a good thing, but if you see me around, feel free to call me 'fatty' or 'slacker' for some good brotherly motivation. (thank you matt karls in advance for your contribution.)

good night.

It's midnight, and I can't sleep...

so, i thought, why not create a blog? it's kinda the trendy thing to do, which is why i haven't yet, but on nights like this when i drank regular when i should have had decaf, and my wife is not in the mood to deal with caffeinated dave (i get a little loopy), this might be a useful companion.

so i guess this is supposed to be a log of thoughts, or ideas, or happenings... well, today i can't stop thinking about persecuted indians (dot, not feather)... and imagining what it would be like to be in their position...

HEBREWS 13

1Keep on loving each other as brothers. 2Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it. 3Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering.
4Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. 5Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."[a] 6So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"[b]
7Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith. 8Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

that's kinda where i'm at. praying for them, and trying to remember them as if i were suffering... but trying not to be afraid of my creaking house, while i remember them... unless the Lord watches over the house, dave is just a paranoid idiot who can't fall asleep...(psalm 127)

and that money verse... it's funny how you value money all the more when you don't have it. just trying to remember that i have family around the world with alot less than i have, and to be grateful (which is easy) and content (which isn't always). consumerism is flowing through my red white and blue veins. :)

but in my reflective late-night blogging mindset, i am content. i really am. and it's all because of Jesus. materially he's blessed me immensely, but the invisble blessings even outweight those (well, not in mass, or weight i guess... but you know what i mean...) lord help me remember.

i've been praying alot for the Holy Spirit to inspire my spirit, and remind me of truths that if i take even a brief second to consider, easily inspire me. inspire me to work, to think, to be "strong & courageous", and completely devoted. cognitively i am, the decision is made. but i love to feel it. to feel my spirit well up with God's Spirit... to feel faith expanding in my chest, hotwiring my heart to pump louder than the noise around me. faith that drowns social norms and makes me wreckless for Christ. at first, i felt guilty for asking God to remind me of things that i should remember on my own, or inspire me as if it were his job to entertain my phsyche, or emotions... but what i'm asking is deeper than that, and the more i thought about it, the more i realized that what i was asking for is the very thing the Spirit of God desires to do! it's the very thing Jesus left the earth to allow every believer who calls out to Him... it's power that comes from faith. it's faith that transcends reason. it's a willingness to sacrifice self for just the glimpse we've seen of Someone so great, that His glory is worth our demise. the realization that the Spirit inside of me deserves the best from his living temple... i just want my life's work to be as efficiently and effectively useful to Him as it possibly can. My utmost for his highest... I'm gonna go read some more... goodnight...